Tomorrow
by Anake14
Summary: Alfred loves Arthur but their relationship is always one way or another and he knows it's bound to end, but no matter how he tells himself he's strong enough to leave he can't ever seem to. USUK HumanAU! Oneshot YAOI! MxM pairing


Tomorrow

A/N: I'm eventually going to stop giving in to other story ideas. Eventually. However that day is not today. Inspired by the song Tomorrow by Chris Young.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

Alfred hated knowing that what he was doing was detrimental to both of them, he knew how it would end as it would always seem to. It would end in another fight and he would swear up and down it wouldn't happen again, that tomorrow he'd be stronger. That tomorrow he could walk away. This time he meant it.

"Arthur," he started, but the other man just cut him off. "Don't…just don't, Al. Not tonight. I can't do this."

"We never should have started this," Alfred said, his voice strained.

Arthur barked a laugh. "We shouldn't have started this? That's the first intelligent thing you've said today."

Ouch, and if that wasn't a blow to Alfred's pride. He cared for the other man, truly he did, but they were always fighting and it was always about something stupid. It almost made him feel bad for Francis who had a similar problem with Arthur. Almost. Honestly he hated the very thought of the two of them in a relationship, but theirs was hardly any better and Francis was usually the one to start those fights by pointing out Arthur's flaws. The fights between him and Arthur were usually childish and _because_ Arthur treated him like a child.

"I…can I hold you tonight?" Alfred asked, his voice quiet. He hoped he could, hoped he could show all his love and emotions in a single embrace through the night and tomorrow when he walked out the door he wouldn't be tempted to look back. He would be strong enough not to call the man and bother him or walk by his house just in hopes of a glimpse.

Arthur did not want to but reluctantly agreed. Alfred gave him a small peck on the lips with every intention of pulling back, but like with everything else with Arthur it became explosive and out of control, like fire and gasoline heating quickly and burning them up. Their lovemaking was slow, gentle, oh so tender and when Arthur fell asleep in his arms Alfred wished the moment would last. Giving the sleeping man a kiss on his shoulder Alfred whispered a barely there, "I'm sorry."

It hurt that in the morning he knew they would regret this and it would just be another source of their shared pain and tears, another source of heartbreak and sorrow. He buried his head in the crook of Arthur's neck as they lay on their sides. Tomorrow he would leave, walk away from all of this like he always said he would, he couldn't take this anymore and Arthur was at his limits as well. He knew that was what Arthur had meant when he said he couldn't do this today.

He would listen to what his brother said, ever the voice of reason even in his head; he would listen to what Matthew said and end this relationship that only caused them harm. They weren't good for each other at all and he almost always felt so small in Arthur's eyes, like his presence hardly mattered to him at all and he wasn't good enough. They weren't any good for each other at all.

Tonight though, he didn't want to think of that. He just wanted to hold Arthur in his arms, forget everything that would come the next day and the fights, regrets, and tears bound to happen for one last night. Tonight he just wanted to love the other man without thinking of tomorrow.

He closed his eyes and drifted off with Arthur in his arms into sleep. He dreamed of life without Arthur not for the first time. A life where he wouldn't call the man because he longed for him and his heart hurt without him, even though Arthur would never believe that. A life where he didn't stop when he passed by Arthur's house even when he wanted to, no matter how much it hurt him to stay away from Arthur.

When he woke up he saw Arthur's smile of contentment as he slept and felt a pain stab his heart right through, cauterized as though it was burned at the same time. Arthur would never look like that for him when he was awake. When they were on good terms with each other things were great, better than anyone would ever know, but that was part of the problem. No one knew. Sure they guessed and assumed, but they didn't know for certain because Arthur didn't want them too and Arthur even went so far as to treat him differently in front of everyone else. It hurt Al to have Arthur treat him that way, but he never said anything because he wanted Arthur happy and if he didn't want anyone to know about their relationship Alfred had decided to go along with it, even if _he_ wanted to climb a mountain and announce his joy to everyone and the heavens themselves.

Alfred got out of bed quietly, leaving Arthur to his rest where he could smile and still be so happy without Alfred. Alfred would walk away, but this time he wouldn't come back. For all he loved Arthur he didn't know if their relationship was even worth trying to save with everything bad that's happened between them.

He dressed and left the room as quickly as he could, entering the kitchen. In a way he figured it was a good thing no one knew they were together, that he had his own place and never really left much here at Arthur's because this would have been more painful. When he was about to walk out the door Arthur padded into the room, arms crossed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, letting you go," Alfred responded.

Arthur stared at him almost uncomprehendingly. Alfred continued, feeling the need to clarify. "You made me promise I would someday at the start of this. That I would leave and let you go if it was clear we aren't any good for each other. We can't keep doing this Art…Arthur," he said, preventing himself from using Arthur's nickname. "We only hurt each other. I needed last night. One last night to love you with all I have and let you go so we stop this."

Alfred unlocked the door and rested his hand on the knob, looking back at Arthur and taking him in one last time. "Goodbye, Arthur."

Before he could open the door he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist. "Don't go Alfred. You know I…"his voice was thick with emotion and he knew Arthur's throat had halted the words he wanted to stay. Turning in Arthur's arms he wrapped the smaller male in his embrace. He wondered if he would be strong enough to leave tomorrow.

A/N: ...This was not how it was supposed to end...Whatever, semi-happy ending it is.


End file.
